Alright now boys and girls we've got another story for you now! We want to introduce to you another friend of the Bible! Hell yeah Hell yeah Hell yeah Hell yeah If I were God there would be no explicit sex on T.V. Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt Bea If I were God thou shall…

May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Did you ever read Voltaire's "Candide"? He says live life at Benny Hill freak out speed Not a quote of what he wrote but a paraphrase Make it up as you go Keyser Soze Highlights yes but don't underline 'em Just live for…

Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing…

Why try? I'm that guy Holden Caulfield from "Catcher In The Rye" Put away 'cause he wasn't all there Like a jigsaw puzzle you might compare Me to him not a liver but wurst Been much better off as a still birth Big let down unparalleled Like the last episode of "Seinfeld" Or Jack…

Dear Chasey Lain I wrote to explain I'm your biggest fan I just wanted to ask Could I eat your ass? Write back as soon as you can You've had a lotta dick Had a lotta dick I've had a lotta time Had a lotta time You've had a lotta dick Chasey But you ain't had mine Dear Chasey Lain I wrote to…

Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Yummy down on yummy down on this down on Ouch it won't reach my mouth If I could do it myself I'd probably never leave the house But I can't so here's where you come in Giving…

We gonna drop this next bomb for a money makin' playa that ain't with us no mo. Yeah, Notorious B.I.G. Hell no, we gonna do this for a gangbanging thug that never seen it comin'. Yeah, Tupac Shakur. Nah bitch, I'm talkin' 'bout motherfuckin' Falco and shit. What? Falco?. Rock me Amadeus, Rock me…

My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be, Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me, Lefty? Yeah but that was alright, She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright, My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony, I think a wooden clothespin would have been much…

...You must die I alone am best! I hope ya flip some guy the bird, He cuts you off and you're forced to swerve, In front of the Beatles' tour bus, A Bookmobile and a Mack truck, Hauling hazardous biological waste, The light turns red you have no brakes, And "Hard Copy" gets it all on tape,…