Good morning,
dearly beloved
we are gathered here today
to watch two people we know
make a big mistake.
They'll stand up at the altar
and solemnly swear; "I do"
They'll be together forever
'till they find somebody new.
Her daddy’s in the front row
muttering, "oh no,
here we go again.
They had a couple dates,
now she's three months late.
And it's twenty bucks a plate I spent, oh"
Good morning,
dearly beloved,
I'd like to welcome ya'll
to see the side effects
of sex and alcohol.
Please bow your heads and join me
in a prayer for these two
who'll be together forever
'till they find somebody new.
The bride is a flirt,
and the groom is much worse.
As he's putting the ring on her,
he's checking out the bridesmaids
thinking that he might take
the maid of honours honour, oh,
welcome, dearly beloved,
we are here this afternoon
to throw rice as these two
drive down the road to ruin
with cans tied to the bumper
and a draggin' muffler too
they'll be forever together
'till they find somebody new.
So raise your hand and join me,
here's to the bride and groom
they'll be together forever
'Till they find somebody new.